When others take advantage of you, it can be a real problem,
making you angry, aggressive, hopeless and make you feel worthless. It can also
lead to you standing-up for yourself, in-turn, developing your
self-esteem and self-respect. Although, being assertive and standing-up for
yourself can be uncomfortable at times, it is definitely worth it in the
long-term.
Most people's feelings fluctuate and are somewhat based on
their daily experiences. The negative feedback from a client, how your friends
and family treat you, and of course, the ebb and flow of a romantic
relationship, all impact on your wellbeing.
Stop Others Taking Advantage of You in 4 Steps
I’m sure you believe and try to be a helpful person, and
sometimes this allows people to take advantage. First thing to do is ‘stop this
pattern’. It is possible and definitely healthier if you have some boundaries.
Protect Yourself Step 1
Think back to a time when you were taken advantage of and
think about how you felt. Perhaps a colleague dropped a project on you at the
last minute, wrong food at a restaurant, or someone keeping you on the phone for
an hour. Think about how this situation made you feel. Think about the feelings
and thoughts that come up when you recognise someone is taking advantage of
your time or kindness. This feeling is important, it will push you to use the
following skills.
Protect Yourself Step 2
Figure out what you value. Maybe it’s your free time,
working out or binge watching, Game of Thrones maybe? Personally, I have people
emailing or phoning me at all hours of the day and night, but no one can be
available 24/7. It’s not fair to me and it isn’t fair to my clients. If I’m
annoyed or frustrated, how am I going to be serving them? So, rather than
continue down this path, I decided to set hours, and let my clients know these
were. This helped me spend my time with family and friends and I recommend you
do the same.
Protect Yourself Step 3
Set yourself up to succeed, paying close attention to all
the details. Notice the small things that take advantage of your time,
kindness, or your lack of attention. Be aware of your interactions and if
people begin to take advantage of, then you can respond.
Protect Yourself Step 4
Respond. Speak up for yourself. It can be just a question or
confirming that your needs are being met, their answer will also keep you
feeling confident and in control. Be nice and polite when you are asking for
what you want to be fixed or inquiring about it.
Look, at the end of the day, it is you who may be taken
advantage of, so you have to step up, be brave, and respect yourself otherwise
it will keep happening. The more you practice saying “no” or standing up for
what’s right for you, the higher your self-esteem will become.
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